Day 27: Days Like Leaves

These days are like leaves. The wind blows through them and they're gone. There's a storm coming in from the sea. We tie down what we want to keep.  I feel that's how it is with me - I've gathered what matters to me now and I'm wanting to let go of what doesn't anymore. It's a freeing kind of thing.  I remember long ago growing up in South East Asia, monsoon nights when the house would shake with great cracks of thunder and we'd lie awake watching the trees all lit up with white lightening and being torn by the wind. I didn't feel fear - I felt more alive than I have ever known, awe and wonder crackling through my veins. The next day, the air would be lighter and running barefoot across the rain-drenched grass I'd believe the world was made new. There was a storm the day before she died. I watched the wind strip what was left of her away and how it bowed us all to the ground. I know now how I can bend and not break, how deep the roots have to go to keep me upright. There can be unleaving but I won't be felled.